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avatar theJoneser 7 day.ago

When I was young my mom would take me to her yoga classes, but then she’d want to leave early.

So I’d say, “Nah Ma stay!”

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. I saw on the news that someone broke into the Toronto Maple Leafs' offices last week.

Apparently, being an original six team, they had multiple trophy cases arranged by decades. The report stated that, before they were disturbed and escaped, the burgalars had ransacked and emptied every trophy case from the 70's all the way to the 2000's. They completely cleaned them out!! Policed have asked that people be on the look-out for three men in black hoodies carrying 24 metres of green felt.

2. Why don't helmets float?

Because they capsized.

3. I had a terrifying dream about female horses trampling me in the darkness.

Night mares are scary!

4. Why did norway, finland, and sweden put barcodes on all their ships

So they could scandinavian

5. What do you call the strain of weed taken by communists during election season?

Poll Pot

6. What’s the difference between peanuts and deernuts?

Peanuts cost $2.50 but deernuts are under a buck

7. What’s the difference between peanuts and deernuts?

Peanuts cost $2.50 but deernuts are under a buck.

8. I was gonna buy a hat but the young guy at the clothing store said they're all out.

I said, "Really, you don't have a single one left?" He got real solemn and said, "On god fr fr no cap"

9. I walked into a joke store and asked “do you guys sell jokes?”

And they said No we're not a real shop.

10. I walked into a joke shop and asked “do you guys sell jokes?”

And they said No we're not a real a shop.

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